About the Nuance of Narcissism
In recent years, narcissism has become a ‘hot topic’. On the internet and social media more and more articles can be found that draw attention to the subject, give tips on how to recognise narcissism and how to deal with it. This ranges from relationship advice to advice on how to handle your narcissistic boss or colleagues, and a leaders’ dysfunction is often attributed to their alleged narcissism.
Even though increasing awareness of narcissism is a positive development, complex psychological and psychiatric diagnoses are often described in a superficial way, both in online media and in management, self-help and other popular books. Although narcissism should be considered on a spectrum, people talk about “the narcissist” as if it were a delineated and easily identifiable type of person. Tips for dealing with a narcissist range from “spread syrup around his mouth” to “break contact and run.”
In addition, it is often implied that narcissists always deliberately set out to hurt others, frequently conflating it with other psychological constructs such as psychopathy. Even in semi-scientific publications, individuals with narcissistic traits are often quickly condemned, and the question where narcissistic behaviour comes from is too rarely asked. This results in people remaining blind to the important genesis on the one hand, and on the other hand seldom consider how narcissistic traits can possibly be used for the better. For narcissism, when used in a controlled environment, can also have benefits.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is a pattern of self-centered, arrogant and unempathetic behavior. It is usually deployed as a defense mechanism by psychologically damaged individuals to compensate for an unstable sense of self. This unstable foundation is often the result of an attachment deficit. During their childhood, high-narcissistic individuals have often missed what is essential for a healthy psychological development: unconditional love, warmth and acceptance by their primary caretakers. Because their needs for love and acceptance have not been met sufficiently by anyone, they have learned early in life that others cannot be trusted, and have learned that they are in fact on their own. If others ultimately don’t care about you and will leave you anyway, why even bother about them?
From this follows a nuance emphasized by some scholars: deep-down, high-narcissistic individuals do want to trust people, cooperate, and even form emotionally intimate relationships, but they do not dare to. They know no better than that the other person will disappoint them anyway, just as their primary caretakers constantly did. Egocentrism, arrogance and unempathetic behavior then serve as their defenses to avoid being damaged again. This is not a conscious process, but this dynamic has become part of the individual’s emotional make-up.
Narcissism in organizations
In cases we are involved in regarding troubling behavior and social insecurity, we are often confronted with ongoing, often serious misconduct, and deal with victims who suffer substantial emotional harm as a result. Psychological consideration of offenders’ behavior in such cases frequently points toward the presence of narcissistic personality traits, or disorder. The hypersensitivity to rejection, the self-centered behavior, the urge to take revenge and the disregard for the consequences of one’s behavior are frequently encountered in our cases of stalking, threats and sexually aggressive behavior. Furthermore, the presence of narcissistic traits poses an increased risk to white-collar criminal behavior. Our conclusion: narcissism can cause substantial problems in organizations, and its devastating impact on individuals should not be underestimated.
Narcissistic individuals often come across as confident and tend to be charismatic, goal-oriented and ambitious. As a result, they often enjoy an above average social status and financial prosperity. They often end up in leadership positions because of the aforementioned characteristics. In addition to the individual benefits, a leader's narcissism can also bring benefits to an organization. Narcissistic leaders tend to be charming and know how to inspire their employees. This can be helpful to organizations. Leaders who are self-confident, decisive and goal-oriented can be of value to an organization, especially during times of crisis. What distinguishes a good leader in this from a dysfunctional leader is not the presence or absence of narcissistic traits, it is how a leader deals with his own narcissism. This does however require a certain degree of self-insight and self-criticism, which will be less likely amongst those who fit the diagnostic criteria for personality disorder.
An antidote to narcissism?
Can highly narcissistic individuals get rid of their narcissism? At its core, this is not possible. These individuals have often been damaged in their lives such that the narcissistic dynamic is so deeply ingrained. However, this does not mean that narcissistic individuals cannot learn to deal with their narcissism. If these individuals are able and willing to reflect on their own behavior and are also willing to look into the abyss of their own past, they can perhaps grow into solid, effective and virtuous leaders. This can lead to significant improvements, both for the narcissistic individual and for the organization.
A nuanced view of narcissism is important: recognizing both its potential dangers and risks, as well as being mindful of its origins and possible benefits. Recognizing (clinical) narcissistic characteristics, distinguishing narcissism from other psychological constructs and setting up a strategy to manage the risks and further support the victim or organization requires extensive training and study.
Dantes has this expertise and can help organizations with complex situations in which narcissistic dynamics may play a role. Do you have questions about this article or about what Dantes can do for your organization? More information and contact details can be found at www.dantespsychology.com.
Marijn Tingen